Copyright USGenNet Inc., 2011, All Rights Reserved U.S. Data Repository Please read U.S. Data Repository Copyright Statement on this page: Transcribed and submitted by Linda Talbott for the U.S. Data Repository http://www.us-data.org/ ====================================================================== From Albert E. Swap to miss Sarah E. Watson, Mendota, IL *enlisted Aug 25, 1862 pvt. Co. C, 6th ILL Cavalry ====================================================================== Ophir Center Nov 5th 1866 Sarah, I hope you will forgive me if I do wrong in addressing you but as the night is long and drearry and I cannot sleep I thought I would write you a few lines which I hope may meet your aprobation. I have been in a deep and silent study since I left you last evening and have as yet come to concl usion what to do in the case brought before me last evening it was so sudden upon me that I could not give uterance to my feelings, no not even shed a tear but I had not got ten steps from you until the tears flowed like rain drops [page 2] from my eyes and I did not dry them until I reached home for in them I thought I found releaf my mind has been wandering so much through the day that it is impossible for me to collect my thoughts so as to write a tenth part that I wish to, Sarah you know not the deep anguish of my soul to see the change that has taken place in three short weeks, one whome I Loved and and adored more than life itself for many months sworn by another in three short weeks. Forgive me Sarah if there is any thing in this that is amiss if you could see me at this moment I know you would not think hard of me, but in stead you would pity me [page 3] If I remember right you told me you would still be true to our engagement (do not think I say this from a clear mind for every thing that has passed in the last 24 hours is like a dream to me and not as a reality) although there was another that you loved dearly if I remember right you sayed you could marry me out of respect that you had not the heart felt love you ought to have for me but that you could not help. You must think me an unfeeling and unprincipled writch to think I would mar your happiness for one moment even at the loss of every thing I possess yes even reason itself which I do not claim to have a very great share to day and night [page 4] You know that my heart has been yours for some time and at your disposal and I hope you will dispose of it as will best pro mote your hapiness. I was not aware how deep my affections were rooted until now but I can yield up all for your happiness you shall never think me selfish in this matter although my future happiness depends upon it. I have been out for some time in the open air to cool my fevered brow but all to no purpose I am in a burning fever but hope it will not prove but of short duration. My eyes are so blinded with _____ that I can scarcely see but I cannot help it I know you will forgive me if I have [page 5] done any thing to merrit your displeasure you know I love you so dearly But I am willing to relinquish you to the one you love although it is almost killing me to think of it. Sarah consider that you are to choose a partner for life and do not take up with one you do not love take the one you love and not the one you only respect - and my Prayrs will always be with you. I am happy in one thought that you allow me the privilage of seeing you once mor it may be the last time we ever meet, May God for*** it, I hope I may be more in my right mind so we can talk this matter over coolly and you will not find me selfish in the matter for I love you to [page 6] to dearly to mar your happiness in any way. I omit endearing names for they bring tears to my eyes every time I think of them. Sarah I pray you will forgive me if there is any thing wrong in this letter and Remember me as your most obedient Servent Bert Please give me a passing thought until we meet once more Good Bye Bert ------------------------------------------ (this portion written upside down, perhaps while the letter was folded) P.S. If you could read my thoughts you would excuse all mistakes and poor writing ------------------------------------------ To Miss Sarah E. Watson Mendota It is now 12 o'clock and I shall take a stroll through the fields for an houre or two and then try to sleep a few moments I was brought to my senses three times to day by putting my hand so near the cylinder that it hit my fingers and they are very sore ========================================================================== Transcriber's Note: For those who have read these letters with interest while this letter may seem to be the end of the romance between Albert E. Swap (Swope) and Miss Sarah E. Watson I have found, in the Illinois Statewide Marriage Index, the marriage of Albert E. Swap to Sarah E. Watson in 1866, LaSalle County, Illinois. It seems that his heart breaking plea for a last meeting with the one he loved so dearly was granted and met with success. Pvt. Albert E. Swap passed away on December 18, 1915 and is buried in Restland Cemetery, Mendota Township, LaSalle County, Illinois.